Endorphins after 2 years

1st day of tennis lessons today! (reminds me of my previous blog about that girl yeah with the eye that i hit, i m sorry :(

i don't play good - net, net, net, oh and net. But it was fun nonetheless. Recreational said sir. But I missed hearing that ball. *pock* hahaha i don't know how that sound looks like in words. basta the tennis racket hitting the ball just right, in the middle with the perfect swing - *pock* It is love indeed. After two years of no exercise, this day was a great day to get 'em muscles alive. :) *powck* (is that closer? I don't know. Basta you get what i mean)

Watched "I Miss You Like Crazy", being an avid john lloyd - bea and cathy molina fan, i think i have the right to say things about the movie. It was different. I liked it. It was just painful to realize that it's just a movie, that millions of people out there have stopped loving their real loves and continued on living a lie. I mean how many can attest to have lovers as nice as Emir? Or how many people can take that into their conscience? That's all fantasy, really. But i guess sometimes life is a fantasy?

Whatever. I m sleepy. And I don't understand what I m saying.

IloveyouDy - yesterday, today and tomorrow. (it's like a prayer) I wonder I do that - end my day with thoughts of him. Why, why, why? Interesting to think about. Is it a reflection of my fear to forget him? Maybe it's because he's my happy thought - that he makes my soul fly? Maybe because he is my peaceful memory and if i don't wake up, i'd know i died peacefully because my last thoughts were of him?

I really think I m too obsessed with you, Dy. And it's scary sometimes. :( I think I have issues. I wonder when I'll be brave enough to face them. Hm.

So many things to ponder on when you don't have to read a global strategy book and prepare for an exam the following day.

I want to fall in Your arms.

BTW, new layout, happier layout? I WANT to be happy, just so that all of you know - I want to. But, sometimes it's not that easy to do - but i m just saying - i m trying hence the layout! *tadaaa*

Lasts

Not just an ordinary day - i guess everyday is what you make it.

I make yesterDAY extra special because i spent it with my two bests :)

I MISS MY MAN :) And i love him vewy much - fat or thin :) In the car or under the starts :) He's the best. :) Best. Best. Bestman in my wedding. JOKE LANG. haha anlabo. :p

I wish i had taken more pictures :(

i m going to miss this jungle. I WANT EK!

K. buyerz.

Just Another Day?

So, I m treating this as a journal just so that i don't forget certain things that happened in my life. Since selective amnesia runs in my family.

I have orals later for Philo. Lagliva. Probably nice enough not to fail me in my senior year. So, i'll just write here. lalala.

It's my last day today. Last of the last. The beginning of the end, so to speak, and I have no plans for later.

I just wish this day isn't like all those days. When we just hang out - chill. I m tired of hanging out. I wanna go out, go wild or maybe you're not just that kind of person.

I just saw my ex's facebook - by Accident! I promise! Then something shot through me again - panic, pain and perhaps annoyance why the hell is he still popping up randomly in my life? Maybe i m not over him yet. Maybe i need to find myself? Maybe I still love him? Maybe I want to get back together with him? He's probably different now - but i can't forget the fact that there was once a point in his life that he was inevitably mine and i his - that there's a part of him that's with me and i in him. Maybe i am not over him yet. dunow. frack. hahaha. I m just not sure if i should still be with you if i have these doubts about myself and my feelings with m.

putangina niya talaga noh? ayaw parin akong tantanan.

I hate loving too much - it really does kill you and steals your ability to love again. As cliche as it sound, it does. FRACK YOU M. FRACK YOU!

I really need the 8 day retreat.

I wish this day isn't just another day. Let's see later.

random.

Wild

26/02/2010

Starbucks katip @ 5:06PM

I sit here in the corner couch of Starbucks Katipunan with Frank Sinatra’s Strangers in the Night playing in my ipod. Glancing here and there, Koreans to my right, bright haired and abnormally small shirts. My dear friend, Chi to my side. Highschool lovers, one in a light blue polo and another in a light green skirt – dating. And around them, college students – mostly seniors – laughing and cramming but at the same time trying to grasp the fleeting days, minutes and maybe even seconds of their student lives.

As am I, as I try to read my philosophy book for the last time.

But to no avail. Eh kasi naman. ANG DAMING LAMOK. AS IN ANG DAMI MEHN. So, Chi being the grumpy being that she is, tried to get as much as she can. Hahaha. Me, the easily influenced one did the same. Until we got around 20 of them. With flailing books and arms we disturbed Starbucks Coffee drinkers with slamming books and papers. But oh GAWD was it worth it. Seeing those little things catch their last breath with twitching antenna looking feet - ahhhhh worth it. Though our books got stained with what chi called skin remnants was it? Hahaha black streaks of what was left of their body parts - annoying til their death. Cruel? What's cruel are the bugs flying about your face, hands and books as you desperately try to shoo them away for the last 2 hours. More pictures of the mass murder and of course, the murderers, ready for more exhilarating chases.

Level Up

23/02/2010

So basically we were feeling adventurous today, we decided to do something new. We decided to play chess. I warned him that i m a sore loser and he seemed fine with it. :I

Then he became annoyingly competitive - then I became competitive.

Well - when i was losing, i started to become very irritated grumpy. Then I began to win - then i was happy.

What a brat.

I moved my queen forward beside his king with my rook guarding her from a far.

CHECKMATE!

I LOVE YOU! X)

Closure

21/02 2010

Finally Finished.

Time Crisis II.

This is absolutely satisfaction in its purest form.

ahh . . . sarap.

Tapos na rin.

Well, of course there were other things finished this day.

This fateful sunday afternoon.

again, ahh... sarap.

Final Stretch for Seniors

15/02/2010
Death is the name of the game. Hahaha.

Studying at around 12:00am at Starbucks Katipunan.

1st Pic: my notes, doodles and of course, coffee (that's helping me psychologically).

2nd Pic: Chi, taking a nap. haha.

Go Go Go Lang.

My Valentine

11/02/2010

My kids gave me this heart shaped candy for Valentine's Day today XD kilig. Apparently, one of my kids are selling them for P 12 each - expensive. And according to Chieney, it tastes like spoiled milk. :/ I honestly didn't like the taste but the thought was very much appreciated.

Made me remember my reasons for staying in ACIL for so long and my reasons for giving it my all. Heart and Soul.

The kids are the reason, my kids are the reason.

Be yours? Well my dears, I think i already am. :)

I love you Green Santino! (maski sakit kayo sa ulo minsan)

Together we Pray

10/02/2010

Dearest Lord

Teach me to be generous

Teach me to serve you as i should

To give and not to count the cost

To fight and not to heed the wounds

To toil and not to seek for rest

To labor and ask not for reward

Save that of knowing that I do Your most holy will.

I am tired, my Lord God. I feel betrayed, battered and helpless.

But thank you for those people you have given me, to remind me that you are near, standing always by my side.

Too early

I m three days early in chilling. I have a few more requirements that i have to do before i m officially unemployed and free.

I was just going through stuff that aren't mine and i have come to realize that i m with the sluttiest boy in the org. Funny that the girl who is scared to death of commitment because of getting hurt again and the boy who proclaims his love to every girl he meets should find that their hands fit together perfectly.

And just to be clear, if you asked me to have *** with you when you turned 18 i would have had you arrested and probably killed by a few friends of mine.

Remember that i loved you at your fattest. :p

lacking

I miss dancing with my God.