lidia II

I wrote to my love.

My lidia.
I envy you. Yes . You. You know who you are.
The beautiful perfect flawless alien that you are
Your porcelain eyes haunt me when I wake, when I sleep. Do you know that?
I am not jealous because of the hearts you hold so effortlessly in your hands
The one that crawls to you even when you trample, spit or even burn it. No, even if I pity that distorted heart that I once cradled whispered to and kissed every waking minute. No.
I am jealous of your oddness.
Your blood that seems to poison humans that you meet.
I wish I can poison. But I am human. I wish I can be alien. But I am human.
And you don’t care - foreigner. Of that I am jealous too.
I wish I can be passive. But I am human. I wish I can be alien. But I am human.